Your...Words...Matter.

I recently read Pygmalion in Management by J. Sterling Livingston and it inspired me to reflect on my career journey. One passage stood out most:

“The way managers treat their subordinates is subtly influenced by what they expect of them. If managers’ expectations are high, productivity is likely to be excellent. If their expectations are low, productivity is likely to be poor. It is as though there were a law that caused subordinates’ performance to rise or fall to meet managers’ expectations.”

What we say matters.

Looking back over the last 17 years, there were numerous times I enthusiastically shared an idea or something new I learned, only to be kindly (and sometimes not so kindly) told to step back in line. Although I can’t remember the exact words, I vividly remember the way they made me feel each and every time. I allowed those words to stifle me - not on a personal level, I’m grounded in faith and understand my worth - but on a career level. In those moments I gave my zest and enthusiasm over to another who was either equally eager to snatch them up or completely apathetic to the situation.

But don’t feel bad for me! Over time I regained my career strength and my voice. Do you know how? I came to realize that more often than not, my ideas would resurface through someone else at which time they were viewed as the best thing since sliced bread!

It wasn’t my ideas that management didn’t take seriously. It was me!

Now THAT I can deal with! I’m bubbles, rainbows, and butterflies personified. Although I'm not thrilled about it, I get that people don’t always take joy seriously. But that's their problem, not mine! 😉

Remember, my self-worth comes from something greater than my career. And the future would prove that my ideas weren’t actually bad. So for years I was letting peoples’ words drive what I thought about myself in my career, all the while, I was actually worthy – and at times ahead of the times.

After reading Pygmalion in Management, I realized I wasn’t alone.

Reflection...

Preceptors, Supervisors, Managers, Directors, Chiefs – what you say matters. How you say it matters. Your nonverbals matter. You have been given power – what are you doing with it?

Are you choosing words that are encouraging or discouraging? Do you speak with clarity or ambiguity? Are you thoughtful and present or are you constantly multitasking? Are you indifferent and say nothing at all, allowing your team to wonder where they stand?

Jot down the answers to these questions and any others that come to mind.

I’m serious…jot them down, please 😊

Now, based on your answers to the questions above, I want you to pause for a moment, reflect, and jot down your why? If you speak encouraging words, is it because you had a great mentor who taught you the importance of it? Or maybe you never heard encouraging words in your career life and made it your goal to manage differently.

Self-Perception.

Taking time to reflect on the ‘why’ behind the way you currently manage leads to my final point of discussion from the book. Managers should expect the most from themselves.

“What managers believe about themselves subtly influences what they believe about their subordinates, what they expect from them, and how they treat them….Superior managers have confidence in their own abilities to select, train, and motivate subordinates.”

What you think of yourself can also be projected onto your team.

Change is challenging.

Speaking from the healthcare realm, I’ve seen a lot of great clinicians move up the management chain. But just because we’re great therapists or nurses or physicians, does that mean we’ll be great supervisors, managers, directors, and chiefs? For some, this may be an easy transition. But for the rest of us, if we don’t seek out additional education, advice from mentors, or other opportunities of growth to hone those skills, we may feel inadequate. Even if we do seek out additional training, there’s still a chance we’ll feel inadequate.

It’s not easy for the majority of us to break into a new role and feel confident on day 1 or even on day 1,001. Pauline Rose Clans and Suzanne Imes identified ‘Impostor Phenomenon’ over 40 years ago. If you’re experiencing this, you’re not alone. It’s a real thing! Although it may be natural to feel this way at some point throughout our careers, we need to stay in tune with how our perception of ourselves can impact those around us.

Below is one of my favorite quotes.*

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

I started this blog with a goal of expressing the impact of management’s words on their subordinates. But along our 900+ word journey, it’s morphed into stressing the importance of self-reflection on why we choose those words in the first place.

If you’re speaking in a way that’s transparent and fruitful to you and your team, then thank you and I hope that your team thanks you. But if you’re not, maybe it’s time to reflect on why?

And maybe you need to hear that…your words matter…too!

(* Research shows the authorship of this quote is under debate. Despite, I highly recommend reading:

• Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

And if you find the quote, please ping me with the details!)